2018 is coming to a close and it’s time to reflect on what a wild and crazy year it has been. Linking with with Holly and Wendy for the 2018 year wrap up.  This has been a year of courage, a year of vulnerability, a year of living out some of my crazy dreams.  I could have gone with any of those names, but I’m officially calling 2018 the Year of the Injury.  

This year fell into two distinct periods.  “Before Injury” and “After Injury.”  July 9th split 2018 decisively in half.  Fitting that the actual halfway point of the year was July 2nd.  July 9th was the day I strained both my hamstring and adductor and had to take 4 weeks off of running.  At the time, it was a devastating experience, and if you follow the blog or know me in person, you know that I was emotionally wrecked.

Before Injury

From January to July, my year was one of physical strength and lots of professional growth.  Throughout the winter and early spring, I trained with the focus of a podium spot at Earth Day 50k.  I pushed myself physically, logging crazy amounts of miles on the trails and treadmill.  Jeremy joined me and helped make my dream a reality.

Throughout the first half of the year, the blog grew, the athletes I coached dominated races, and I even started a food business.  I guest-wrote posts for Ultra Running Magazine and Health Warrior.  2018 started to feel like I was unstoppable.  I knew I was a stronger and fitter athlete than I had been in years.  When Nike asked me to join the their all-women’s team in late May, I was excited to focus on speed in the marathon again.

And then on July 9th, during a standard tempo workout, I strained my hamstring and adductor.

After Injury

After the strain, I took 4 weeks completely off of running.  This was the first time in my 10+ years running that I had an injury.  When I could return, I could only run 1-2 miles at a time.  In the middle of marathon training, that was not where I wanted to be.  I went from feeling physically strong to rock bottom.  It was a period of emotional distress and honestly an identity crisis.  Who am I if not a runner?  The second half of the year was full of stress and vulnerability.  But in a beautiful way, it was also full of community and love.

Being injured is such a stressful time.  My regular routine and predictability went out the window.  I needed to block off additional hours to go to physical therapy appointments, take spin classes, get to a pool during open swim hours, plan around strength classes and gym times.  Without running, my eating disorder came back for a good portion of July, and I realized that I hadn’t quite fully dealt with all the issues like I thought.  I was kind of a mess.

But amidst all the stress, I had never felt so loved.  Normally, I am pretty independent and sharing moments of vulnerability makes me extremely uncomfortable.  However, as soon as I strained my hamstring and adductor, and as soon as I shared my distress, my community rallied.  A community I knew I had, but didn’t really appreciate or know the depth of until this summer.  They lent me bikes to train, bike shorts, pedals, swim equipment, recovery tools; made strength class dates, or pool run dates, or injury deck dates with me; loaded on the hugs, both in personal and virtual, and constantly checked in to see how they could help.

Through vulnerability, I experienced the power of community like never before.  Through that community, I found strength again, not just physical but emotional and mental.  In September, I was able to complete the Berlin Marathon on a bare-bones running plan.  Pain-free running slowly returned, and my physical strength improved.  Now, I am back to running, back to my regular routine, but as a changed runner.

The injury turned out to be the best things that happened to me this year.  It was a big reality check.  It gave me perspective.  It showed me how community and support are more important than individual accomplishments.  The experience made me a better coach and a much stronger runner.  Through vulnerability, something that I normally avoid, I found a different kind of strength.  If you’re injured at the moment, have hope.  As 2019 approaches, I plan to bring this gratitude with the intention of investing more in my community, remaining vulnerable, and continuing to pursue crazy ambitious goals.

Happy running,

Becca